Challenges

Hi Everyone! So I wanted to blog about challenges. What challenges are you facing? Are you feeling challenged spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally? I know for sure I am.

I'm just gonna spill my guts so here it is and if I know you personally then.... ha-ha. I'm not apologizing for who I am. I already know how screwed up I am and I only ask God to have mercy on my soul.

Ok, so when it comes to my kids I would say that my 6 year old challenges me. He is too smart and sometimes I can't stand his attitude. The sad part is, he is a reflection of me. I have the biggest attitude and I know he's only repeating after me. Bad mommy :( My daughter and baby boy don't challenge so much and Im thankful for that. There was a time when my girl was the biggest challenge in my life. I would say from the second she was born until she turned 3! She's 3 and half now so I guess I'm in the clear (for now). Brody is the baby of the family. He's too cute and even if he throws a fit, it's all good cuz he's da baby :)

My husband is great! Quite honestly I think he makes up for those sorry husbands out there. I just don't like that he isn't as quite passionate about getting fit and healthy. I'm not sure he cares. He did give up soda completely in September and started to work out, but he has slacked big time on P90X and he admitted that he started drinking soda at work. bad boy! He's such a chain smoker too. I can't stand it and it scares me. I don't nag him to quit. Been there. Done that! It's not worth it. In time something will click and hopefully he just dives right in with me. I guess I need to pray harder for his health.

I'm challenged as a wife because I don't feel like I give all my wifely duties 100%. For instance, I'm a stay at home mom. He doesn't ask for anything from me. NOTHING. All he expects is clean clothes and for me to wash his uniform and iron it! LOL. Ok I will wash his clothes. Not a problem. But for some reason I can't stand to touch his uniforms let alone even iron it. I don't know what my deal is. I'm pretty mean too. That needs to stop. But seriously it's part of our relationship. If I didn't joke around with him then I would really have nothing to say. Whatever. He seems to be happy and I'm happy so I better stop being a girl and psycho-analyze our marriage and just be thankful! ok done!

Physical Challenge! Remember that show on Nickelodeon called Double Dare? Where Mark Somers would ask questions and you would Dare then Double Dare and then accept a Physical Challenge! I loved that show! I will take a physical challenge any time any day if I'm allowed to due to my kids. But YES! Physical Challenges are awesome! I had the best Week of P90X. I just completed week 5 and I feel amazing! I've added walking to my daily exercise. Some days I walk twice and the best part is I push my 2 babies in a double stroller and I walk with great ladies! I get a little natural high every time I sweat it out. My butt has really take some good shape this past week. It's a little lifted and I just need to work on that apple bottom :) My strength in my arms have gotten pretty good as well. Ultimately I would LOVE to do a half marathon or something to really train for. God I love fitness!

Then there's my spiritual walk. Ok so I've been doing the "Christian thing" You know...go to church, tithe, offer and uh-ok well.... Recently I've thought to myself, " ok God there's got to be more. More ways to give and sacrifice and really get into this." Then my friend told me that a little girl in her daughters class lost everything due to a fire. My friend didn't push me to give anything. She just kind of put it out there. I had every intention of going through my kids' stuff and donating what we have. It was on my mind and in my heart to help. So what happened? I didn't do a thing. God knows we have piles of stuff stored away. I let life get in the way and it just wasn't a priority for me. I feel really bad and what erks me the most is that I know what I need to do, but I'm just not doing it. I just have to stop right here cuz I'm at war with God and well....I just need to take more time to seek God and listen to His word.

I'm challenged most with God. I know there's a good person inside of me and I wish this thick layer of sin would go away so I can start following Christ. The devil has got a hold of me and I'm scared.

Jolt!

Ok here's the deal. I like to think that I know it all. Most of the time I think I know it all, but I have my days when I'm clueless. In my little world this is what I KNOW:

• I KNOW that I'm suppose to believe in God and accept Jesus Christ as my Savior. I understand He died for my sins and that through Him anything is possible. 
• I KNOW that I'm suppose to be a faithful little obedient wife. 
• I KNOW that I am responsible for 3 young lives and that I'm suppose to nurture them and have their best interest at heart. 
• I KNOW that I'm suppose to exercise and I choose to push play 6 times a week.
• I KNOW that I'm suppose to eat 5 clean meals a day with the right amount of protein and carbs to go along with P90X and Insanity. 

I know. I know. I know. Well here lately there has been a Jolt, if you will, that has been thrown into my little life. 

I've been attending New Passion Church for 2 months now. I've met some really nice people. I am grateful for that. I've never experienced true relationships in church and I'm really surprised that I can get along with "church people".  A small group comes over every Monday and we fellowship for about an hour or so. We even met them for dinner one Friday nite followed by hanging out at Steeds Dairy Farm. I started walking with 2 great ladies this past week and one of them joined my Team on Beachbody! Each week the Pastor pisses me off. Because I am convicted. It's hard. But he's a great Pastor cuz God is using Him to really Jolt me! It amazes me how jolted I am after Sunday service. So much lately that I feel like I kinda wanna back out of church. Why!?! I don't know. Maybe because it's a lot to handle when I realize that I'm such a mess and I need to a lot of damage control. <<<>>>>God, please see me through.

OK and then there's my amazing Husband. I am a faithful wife, but definitely NOT obedient. He doesn't ask for much at all. And so what's my problem? I don't know. Maybe I don't like to do his laundry so I can get his attention by him not having white t shirts and black socks washed. I don't cook for him every nite. Why? Because one nite he didn't eat and that really pissed me off so I hold a grudge. There! I find myself "cheating" on him by looking at celebrities. Sounds silly I know, but I don't enjoy that. Even though it's natural to look at the opposite sex, I really want my eyes to be drawn on Dwayne cuz he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. <<<>>>

Then there are my kids. OMG...Let me say it again OMG. My six year old has been pissing me off lately. He's very mouthy and in smart-ass kind of way. He really seems like a teen ager with the way he snaps at me. My baby Brody is at that age where he isn't speaking and is trying oh so hard, but nada! So he's frustrated with life right now and I get frustrated with it too, but it's ok cuz he's my baby and it doesn't bother me that bad. Then there's the Princess who reminds me everyday to buy her a castle with white horses. She's so serious too. I love my girl. I think she's my favorite right now. lol. She gets annoying tho when her Daddy comes around. Hey, I just realized that my kids are awesome and I really can't gripe about them. NICE> ok next!

BEACHBODY! My LIFE. My Focus! I LOVE every program that I've done. The workouts are hard, but I loVE it! I can eat clean for 5 days straight then comes the weekend and it seems like I'm doomed! Jolted by the devil himself. The rule that I've been trying to follow is to have ONE cheat meal not a whole Cheat Day. But guess what? I've been losing weight little by little and so I allow myself to think that it's OK to just cheat for the whole day. Then recently it turned into cheating for the whole weekend! I'm putting the fork, spoon and knife down! I'm calling it quits. I've been jolted by a magnificent TREAT! Yes TREAT! I will eat clean 7 days a week and TREAT myself to my most guilty pleasure....ICE CREAM every Sunday nite with my wonderful husband while watching Desperate Housewives. 

THERE! The word CHEAT is obliterated from my vocabulary. I'm NOT a cheater in any way. I don't cheat God and my Family so I wont cheat on myself by ruining my nutrition on the weekends. Please friends, keep me in prayer and help me get up from this jolting experience. The worse battle in life is when it's a battle against yourself.